A High Performer Who Suddenly Disengages

One of the strongest people on the team has quietly checked out. Camera off. Shorter messages. Skipping things they used to drive.

In the moment

• Notice it. Write it down. Do not ignore it, but do not panic.
• Resist the assumption that they’re leaving, that I did something wrong, or that they’re the problem. All three are possible. So is “their kid is sick” or “they’re burned out.”

In the following days

• 1:1 with curiosity, not interrogation. Open question, then silence.
• Ask follow-ups. The first answer is rarely the real one.
• If they share something, thank them, take it seriously, and don’t try to fix it on the spot.
• Reduce load if it’s burnout. Re-align work if it’s purpose. Address it directly if it’s something I did.

What to watch for in yourself

• Wanting to “re-engage them with a new project” when the issue is something else entirely.
• Taking it personally before I know what it is.
• Asking once, getting “I’m fine,” and moving on.

Common traps

• Treating a top performer’s disengagement as a performance problem. It’s a leading indicator, not a lagging one.
• Missing that they’ve been quietly carrying too much for too long.
• Missing that they’ve been passed over, under-recognized, or shadowed by someone with a louder voice.
• Hoping it resolves itself.

Sample language

“I want to ask about something, and I might be reading it wrong. The last few weeks have felt different to me. How are you doing — really?”

“Take your time. I’d rather you tell me what’s actually going on, even if it takes a minute, than tell me you’re fine.”